Archive for the ‘print media’ Category
5 Big Kid Discipline Dilemmas – Parenting Expert Betsy Brown Braun Shares Tips With Parenting Magazine
Writer Suzanne Schlosberg reached out to several parenting experts for her story in Parenting magazine on “How To Keep Control And Your Cool – While Your Kids Test Limits Every Which Way They Can.” My client, parenting expert Betsy Brown Braun was among the experts who weighed in on this important topic.
For the full story click here.
Tattle Taming: Why Kids Tattle and How to Respond – Dr. Fran Walfish Shares Her Expertise With Calgary’s Child Magazine
Heidi Smith Luedke reached out to my client, Fran Walfish Psy.D., a Los Angeles-based clinical psychotherapist for her piece in Calgary’s Child about why kids tattle and how to respond.
Here’s the full story:
Nobody likes a tattletale – not even their mother or father. If your child’s playdates and sleepovers are punctuated by whiney reports of misdeeds and injustice, you may be tempted to clear your kid’s social calendar. Not so fast. Interactions with siblings and friends allow kids to practice communication, negotiation and compromise. And dissatisfaction is part of the process.
“In early childhood, it’s normal for kids to share social problems with parents,” says psychologist and school consultant Michael Thompson, Ph.D., author of Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children. At times, they legitimately need our help resolving disputes and soothing hurt feelings. But by second grade, the prohibition against inviting adults into social conflicts is clear. “Kids who tattle get labelled – tattletale, squealer, snitch – and left out,” says Thompson. Bringing infractions to an adult’s attention sets your kid up for friendship failure.
Why kids tattle
Parents might assume kids tattle because they don’t feel empowered to stick up for themselves, says Fran Walfish, Ph.D., a child and adolescent psychotherapist. That’s not true. “Kids tattle because they’ve developed a strong sense of right and wrong and they start policing other people,” says Walfish. Tattletales suffer from an overdose of conscience.
“Tattling at home may also be rooted in sibling rivalry,” says Walfish. An older child might feel they are held to a higher standard than their younger siblings, or that they are disciplined more severely. And they may be right. “Parents need to take an honest look within,” says Walfish. “If you are harsh and judgmental with your children, they’ll act the same way with peers.”
How to respond
It seems obvious: giving attention to a child who tattles will only reward them for tattling. But experts say parents shouldn’t dismiss kids’ reports or tell them to “get over it.” Sometimes kids who tattle just want a safe place to share their concerns.
“Kids won’t say, ‘I need you to listen to this and be outraged on my behalf and then do absolutely nothing,’” says Thompson, “but 90 per cent of the time that is what they want.” When your child comes to you with a story, listen, accept, acknowledge and bear it. Ask questions about how your child plans to handle the situation – that will bring out their inner resilience.
Tattletales who judge and blame are usually more focused on their peers’ behavior than their own. “Position yourself as a mediator,” says Walfish. Kids should present their concerns to each other, not to authority figures. Give each child a chance to speak their piece without interruption or name-calling. You want them to learn how to wrestle with a conflict face-to-face without demeaning the other person.
“This won’t come easy,” Walfish cautions. It is common for parents to get drawn into the dialogue. Step back emotionally so you can coach your child through it without taking sides.
After each child has a chance to talk, ask, “How could you work this out?” Listen to kids’ ideas for addressing the problem. If they don’t have any, offer some suggestions. Let kids choose how to proceed. “The resolution is not nearly as important as the process of working it out,” says Walfish.
Except in extreme circumstances – like when one child is intentionally hurt or belittled – don’t take sides or punish the other child for what a tattletale reported. “Play the role of supportive consultant, not hired gun,” says Thompson. You’ll reinforce the tattler if you act on the information they offered.
Chronic tattling can leave parents feeling frazzled. It may help to arm yourself with kind, matter-of-fact phrases you can use in response, says Walfish. Say, “There are only two grown-ups in this house, and it’s our responsibility to enforce the rules.” Assuring ‘kid cops’ that you are on the job may reduce their need to patrol and shift their attention back to their own activities.
Not all sharing is tattling, and there will certainly be times when you must intervene to protect your child. Be cautious in your assessment of the situation. “Parents are too quick to define peer behavior as bullying and to accuse other kids, parents or teachers of wrongdoing,” Thompson says. Rushing to judgment reinforces a child’s sense that they are a victim in need of rescue.
It’s usually best to diffuse hurt feelings with empathy instead of going on the offensive. Set the expectation that tomorrow will be a better day. Spend one-on-one time with your child doing something they enjoy. Loving attention can quiet even the noisiest tattletale.
The Oatmeal RX is the title of a feature story in the October issue of Breathe magazine by Colleen Oakley.
Here’s the story which features my client Randi Ragan, the founder/owner of GreenBliss EcoSpa and a Green Living and Holistic Lifestyle expert.
It isn’t just the perfect fall morning treat – oatmeal is the latest skincare ingredient to boost your beauty factor.
There’s nothing like a warm bowl of oatmeal on a chilly autumn morning to fill you up and keep you going all day long. But it’s not just for breakfast anymore-applied topically, it can be the perfect treat for your skin too.
“Oats have long been used for enhancing the quality of skin” says Randi Ragan, holistic lifestyle expert and owner of the GreenBliss EcoSpa in L.A. “They are chock-full of phytonutirents and antioxidants, which help keep you glowing and youthful.”
Oatmeal is also high in zinc, she says, which helps the healing process of the body and skin, so oatmeal is a great ingredient for treating acne, as well as itchy skin rashes like poison ivy.”
And ground up, the texture of oatmeal becomes a great exfoliator.
DO IT YOURSELF APPLE EXFOLIATING MASK
Skip the beauty counter and make your own oatmeal skin treatment with this recipe from Randi Ragan. This dual-action scrub rids the skin of dead cells and the apple juice tightens and tones. Honey has natural anti-micobial properties and works with the oatmeal to calm inflamed skin.
How to: Mash Oats, cornmeal and honey into a thick paste with fork. Combine with apple pieces in a food processor or blender until smooth. Apply in a circular motion on face and then let sit for 20 minutes. rinse with warm water.
2 tbsp. Rolled Oats
1 1/2 tsp. Cornmeal
1 tbsp. Honey (any sticky syrup will work)
1/2 Apple peeled and cut into chunks
Must kids be protected from harsh grandparents? How to deal with grandparents who scold your kids too harshly for your taste
One big question for parents is what to do when the grandparents idea of discipline is more harsh than their own.
When Heidi Stevens, who writes the “parenthood” column for the Chicago tribune asked family psychotherapist Fran Walfish and author of The Self-Aware Parent (Palgrave Macmillan) to weigh in, here’s what she had to say. ”Children from age 3 and up are able to differentiate between their parents’ authority and their grandparents’ authority,” says ”A grandparent who misses a child’s emotional cues and doesn’t encourage expression of feeling is not nearly as impactful on the kids as a parent who does so. Not even a fraction.”
To read more click here.
Becoming Jewish: The Challenges, Rewards, and Paths to Conversion, an all inclusive, step-by-step guide to converting to Judaism by Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben and Jennifer Hanin just received a rave review from Jewish Book World.
Dr. Nina Shapiro, the Director of Pediatric Otolaryngology and Associate Professor at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, is the author of Take a Deep Breath: Clear The Air For The Health Of Your Child . She lends her expert addice in the december issue of Staten Island Parent. Take a look at pages 66/67 and find out if your child is breathing right.
Recently, my client Dr. Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills Psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent shared her expertise with Central Valley Moms on the topic of gifted children and how best parents can nurture and support nurture their out of the ordinary child.
My client Dr. Nina Shapiro helps keep our kids safe from choking on Halloween with these great tops featured in Westside Today.
What child doesn’t love Halloween? In fifteen years as a pediatric ear, nose, and throat doctor, Halloween is always my slowest workday. What parent would dare subject their child to a doctor’s appointment, or (perish the thought!) a surgery, on the most sacred of sugar-filled days? Everyone gets involved; newborns don some sort of cute, oversized pumpkin onesy, or get dressed up as a pea in a pod. Toddlers waddle around as bunnies, lions, and teddy bears; preschoolers wear capes or carry fairy wands, and elementary schools are laden with Harry Potters and Wonder Women. And the candy is endless! Sugar is limitless, kids are allowed to scare their teachers (within reason), and school assignments undoubtedly include some sort of crossword puzzle with the word ‘jack-o-lantern’ in it.
All of us know the good part about Halloween; I’ve never met a parent who hasn’t ‘shared’ in their child’s Halloween bounty, and many hope to snap an adorable kid-in-a-costume shot that may work for a holiday card photo. But we must remember the safety issues that arise on this holiday.
All of us rightly worry about losing our child on a dark, crowded street, errant cars injuring children who are running into the street, careless adults on cell phones, not paying attention to their children who are running into the street, or not being able to get our sugar-loaded children to sleep on a school night.
But here’s what I worry about, and, while Halloween day is often a quiet one, Halloween night can be frightful for an airway surgeon because of choking. I don’t mean choking on clothing that is too tight, or external choking by a teenage prankster. I mean choking on regular old candy. The kind your child brings home from preschool, receives from your neighbors, and likely the kind that you are giving out. Choking is the number one cause of accidental death in children under age three years. Yes, it’s true. One child dies every five days in this country from choking on food. Most of these kids are under age three, and most of the food items causing these horrors do not contain warning labels indicating the danger to the under-three crowd.
It’s that ‘magic’ age three, when kids cross the threshold and are allowed to play with toys comprised of ‘small parts’. But what about food with small parts, sticky bits, or unsafe fragments? What was the last food (or candy) label you’ve read with the commonly found toy warning “not for children under three”? Still thinking? Let me know, because those labels don’t exist. And now I’m here to rain on your Halloween parade; no candy is safe for children under three. Label or no label. This includes gum, even if it’s sugarless. Tots can chomp on a thin, plain chocolate bar, if they are seated (so don’t steal those Hershey® bars from your kid’s bag—that’s all they should be allowed to eat).
Children under age three years have neither the motor control, patience, nor airway reflexes to safely eat hard candy, chewy candy, caramel corn, popcorn, or nutty candy, especially on a busy, dark, Halloween night. Older children should be able to do so, but not while walking around trick or treating. Even kids over age four or five years are at high risk for choking on candy if they eat it while in action, and a choking event may go unnoticed if their face is hidden under a Darth Vader mask.
There is plenty of fun to be had on Halloween, while heeding these simple anti-choking tips; awareness is the first and most important step, which is why I’m writing this. So, Happy Halloween! From your neighborhood airway doctor. Let’s meet up at a party or while trick or treating, not in the emergency room.
Dr. Nina L. Shapiro is the Director,Pediatric Otolaryngology and an Associate Professor at the UCLA School of Medicine.
When is it time for little girls to “cover up” Dr. Fran Walfish answers that question in the July issue of Parents
If you missed the July issue of Parents click here and find out what Dr. Walfish has to say about when it is appropriate for little girls to cover without shirts and when it is time to cover up
Families May Approach the September 11th Anniversary Differently – Read what Betsy Brown Braun has to say to the Intelligencer