Posts Tagged ‘parenting advice’
If you missed Betsy Brown Braun’s appearance on MYFOXLA last May, or you don’t live in LA just click here and Betsy will provide you with tips on what do with your back talkin’ child.
Betsy is a child development specialist and the best selling author of award winning Just Tell Me What To Say & You’re Not The Boss Of Me,
A neighbor frequently asks for help with her elementary-age daughter: rides, baby-sitting, meals. But she never reciprocates. Do you say no, knowing the child is the one who will suffer?
My client, Dr. Fran Walfish says, “You should continue to be generous and help this defenseless child. Someone else might say that saying no is creating reasonable boundaries, but it all depends on your point of view.
“I treat many adults who were raised alone,” Walfish says. “They always talk of one special person who saved them psychologically. Perhaps it was a grandmother, uncle, schoolteacher, the parent of a classmate. As a neighbor to this limited mother and her elementary-age daughter, you have the privileged opportunity to be that special person and rescue this child from a world of isolation.”
You can read the full article here.
Dr. Walfish is the author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Buiilding a Better Bond with Your Child.
My client Betsy Brown Braun, development specialist and best selling author of award winning Just Tell Me What To Say & You’re Not The Boss Of Me, has just posted this amazing blog on raising kids by example. Check it out below.
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING
The mother unwrapped the straw, poked it into the little box, and handed the drink to her toddler as they walked out of the grocery store. The sliver of straw paper slipped from the mother’s hand. I doubt that she even noticed it.
Rolling my grocery cart back to its stable, I looked around to see how many carts were randomly parked, willy-nilly throughout the lot, nowhere near the stable. Who leaves her cart to roll into the next parked car?
Since my greatest interest and life’s work centers on parents and kids, the world is my lab. I notice random acts, relationships, and interactions wherever I go. Observing, noticing, gathering data, storing information, wondering. That’s me. Today at the grocery store I couldn’t help but think about where and how children learn to do the right thing, to make the right choices. Of course, “right” means different things to different people, but I’m thinking of generally accepted right. The answer is kind of complicated, but not really.
To do the right thing, children have to do the wrong thing. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. Much of growing up is trial and error, testing limits and boundaries. Do it wrong, experience the consequence, then do it right the next time. At least you hope it works that way. That’s certainly one of the ways kids figure out what is the right thing to do.
However, even without actively teaching your children, they learn from you because they copy you. Think about the things that you automatically do because that’s the way you’ve always done it. There is the great old tale of the mother who is preparing her Thanksgiving turkey with her adult daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, why do you always cut off the end of turkey before you put it in the roaster?” The mother who has no answer, knowing only that she cut it because her mother had always done so, calls her own mother. “Mom,” she asks, “Why do we always cut off the end of the turkey before putting it in the roaster?” The grandmother replies, “So it will fit in my roaster.”
Over and over I remind parents that your kids are watching you all the time. It’s about how you live your life every day. If you ALWAYS hang up the clothes you tried on before you leave the store dressing room, the habit will become your child’s too. If you ALWAYS put you trash in the wastebasket, your child will do the same. If grocery shopping ALWAYS ends by returning your cart to the stable, not doing so won’t be a choice. Behaviors, right and wrong, become automatic when they are habitual. And so it will be for your absorbent child. Doing the right thing has a good chance of becoming ingrained in him, whether or not you are there watching.
Next week starts the Jewish High Holidays, the time of reflection: What has been in the year that has passed, and what will be going forward? Whether you observe the Jewish holidays or not, the fall is a good time for everyone to reboot. Are you a person who does the right thing when no one is looking? If your answer is yes, then it’s likely you’re teaching your child to do the same.
Heidi Stevens, who writes the Parenthood column for the Chicago Tribune asked my client, Karen L. Schiltz, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice, specializing in the clinical and forensic neuropsychological assessment of children, adolescents, and young adults what parents should when their middle schooler brings home a “D.” Dr. Schiltz, author of Beyond the Label: A Guide to Unlocking a Child’s Educational Potential (Oxford University Press) says this is the “time to be your child’s advocate.” She goes on to say there is often “more” to the story than just the D. So talk to your kids. For the full article click here.
One big question for parents is what to do when the grandparents idea of discipline is more harsh than their own.
When Heidi Stevens, who writes the “parenthood” column for the Chicago tribune asked family psychotherapist Fran Walfish and author of The Self-Aware Parent (Palgrave Macmillan) to weigh in, here’s what she had to say. “Children from age 3 and up are able to differentiate between their parents’ authority and their grandparents’ authority,” says “A grandparent who misses a child’s emotional cues and doesn’t encourage expression of feeling is not nearly as impactful on the kids as a parent who does so. Not even a fraction.”
To read more click here.
When Should You Indulge Your Kids?
Are you that parent that makes sure your child has the newest technology and devices? Or are you the parent that gives in to your child every time they throw a tantrum? Or maybe you are that parent that can’t possibly shower them with enough gifts? Jen and Barb talk to parenting expert and author Betsy Brown Braun about healthy ways to indulge and reward your kids — watch “When Should You Indulge Your Kids?”
Today, Dr. Nina Shapiro’s new book, Take A Deep Breath was reviewed by the Virgin Islands Daily News. Dr. Shapiro recently appeared on CBS’ “The Early Show” to discuss her book. Take a Deep Breath is available for order on amazon.com and at barnesandnoble.com.
Dr. Nina Shapiro will be signing copies of her newly released book Take A Deep Breath: Clear The Air For The Health Of Your Child at Chevaliers bookstore:
WHEN: Saturday, January 14th
TIME: 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm
WHERE: Chevalier’s Books, 126 N. Larchmont Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90004
PHONE: 323-465-1334
Dr. Shapiro is both Director of Pediatric Otolaryngology and Associate Professor at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.
Take A Deep Breath sheds new light on the latest research in pediatric breathing issues, sleep issues, and airway safety. The book explains all of the puzzling and oftentimes distressing breathing patterns our children have throughout development. From the uppermost part of the breathing apparatus, the nose, to the lowermost part, the lungs, this book explains which problems are truly worrisome, and which are actually normal stages in a child’s growth.
Fran Walfish, Psy.D., author of The Self Aware Parent shares her tips on how to handle toddler tantrums on BreezyMama.com.
Dr. Walfish is the foremost Beverly Hills child and family psychotherapist. Her caring approach, exuberant style, humor, and astute insights have earned her a sterling reputation among colleagues and national media alike. A frequent guest on top-tier TV programs, including NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and KABC-TV in Los Angeles, The Doctors, CBS and often appearing in major publications such as Parents Magazine, Family Circle and Woman’s Day, Dr. Fran continues to lead the field with her expert insights and innovative strategies for parents, children and couples.
When Dr. Fran Walfish, author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building A Better Bond with Your Child was asked what to when grown kids move back to their parents, she shared her thoughts on eHow.
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